Perspective

Ello bloglings. It has been an unacceptable amount of time since we have spoken. Then again, you may groan at the prospect of reading this blog, so hey it's all in perspective. Most things in life are all about perspective and this has been proven time and time again throughout this week. I'm not saying you can essentially "think something away" but coming at things positively, helps you. If not "literally" mentally. You'll feel better if you don't get yourself worked up over frivolous things. Not saying I'm good at it, no way Jose. I seriously just spent five minutes trying to figure out how to put an acentgrau over the e in Jose. Wow. That's another thing, perspective=importance. The amount you dwell/focus on something should ideally represent how much you care for it. This is definitely not always the case. Obstacles are a big part of the perspective thing. It's like driving. Your line of sight or path of travel may be blocked not allowing you to act in the best way possible. Same goes for life in general, there's no map, no straight lines. Chances are you'll never see a direct answer the first time around. Life is a lot of work. RSD is a like another life in itself. I'd tell you it doesn't have to be, but honestly sometimes you can't help but get catch up in the maze of obstacles it creates. This past week has been hell, I'll admit it. I haven't been the most positive about it, that's when fear comes in. I'm honestly scared, and worried about what this means for the future. I was doing so incredibly well and now this flare has got me nearly stopped in my tracks. even though I want to push through, I can only be so strong. Sure people can judge and say it's my choice, but until you feel this you don't know. That's one huge struggle. I'm trapped in a world filled with people who don't have the capacity to understand. It's not their fault, I make it their fault though. Which poses problems. I expect that people know by now not to ask. The thing is, new people are always entering my life and chances are very good that they entered during a "calm spell". What people don't know is everyday no matter how low the pain is, is an uphill battle. A lot of time, what you see is not what you get with me. People don't like listening to complaining, fear, groaning, moaning, anger, they'd rather you discuss frivolous things. They're not frivolous to them because they have life and it's obstacles. I have life and it's obstacles taking a back-seat to RSD and its. You see, no matter how close to letting go that pain guy is, it's going to be that way. Sure I've gotten pretty good at balancing both "circles of life" but no one is perfect. And it may not be the intention, but without meaning to people expect that of me. And it's stressful. Forever adding stress, how can people expect me not be forever be broken? That I can not tell you. What I can say though is it has to do with perspective. My perspective is far different from the majority's.

Later bloglings. ♥