Langsamer bitte.

slow down life slow down. It's one of those nights where I feel like AH I don't want to grow up! So I'm not going to talk it to death I'm just going to let the feeling pass. It's just a feeling. My life is just fine. In fact, I sent the bus to my therapist today. The new and improved drawing of the bus which I shall post for you! Hooray. Other than that... new writers notebook :\ hmmmm. I have a piece from it I'd like to share. The only real "piece" in their so far. I wrote it in the middle of the night last night, it just kind of came out and then I read it this morning and was like, woa. So here goes:

"NO Falling"

The heat and intense, passionate emotion radiating from the intertwined bodies, could move mountains. Nestled on the floor in a corner of her room, surrounded by stuffed animals symbolizing childhood innocence, now past, but that's she dying to hold onto, she gives herself in to him, but for only an instant. It's shocking to her, she catches it. She has never felt this way before. Her insides tremble and she tears herself away from him, correcting her "wrong" feelings and bad behavior. She can't even sit beside him, not now. The paused movie is the only sound, just a slight hum coming from the player. Her heart beats in her ears and breath comes in gulps from her chest. She stayed rolled over, secluding herself, tucked in upon herself in the fetal position. She's trying to grasp hold of this feeling, so she can shove it aside.

"What's wrong?" he breaths.

"Nothing," she forces herself to reply. The impulse within her to turn to him is excruciating. She can't look at this boy; she must stay away, to herself, until normalcy returns. Feelings like this scare her. They take control away from her. They're too real. They're too much like love and trust. She can't let herself succumb to them. So, she wills them away, detaching and never fully giving in to a moment with him. As soon as it begins, it's as if she's in the semi-conscious state where you fall in a dream and leap with fear, feeling as though you truly are falling. "No falling," she repeats to herself. "No falling."

And there you go. I got like these lines and then I kept going and then I had nearly a page and so I tried for winning conclusion. And I woke up and there it was, this piece.

So, maybe I can't ask life to go slower, because I'm not in control. Maybe I have to let life lead?

Night bloglings.