UGHHHHHHHHHHHhhibvnbrtrghnlkjbvcdxrfyij

OMG-sh. OMG-sh. OMG-sh.
The amount of stress I am experiencing is through the roof right now and it's my own fault. I can feel it wrenching, stabbing, throbbing, burning, etc. in my foot and up my leg as it grows more and more excruciating. I just want calm, happiness, okayness. I just want to live my life and be happy. Does that mean staying single, I really don't know. I like being single it keeps things simpler, but I also like someone and don't want to hurt them...what will hurt more, trying really hard and realizing I can't handle it or having got them all expecting...and crushing them. Neither is good. I just want it to be happy and fine. I want them to be there but not extra stress. I want it to be not complex, just CHILL. I need chill. I need a shoulder to cry on, someone to hug, someone to hold my hand. They're amazing and can do that, so why is this an issue? Too much intensity too fast, when I'm already stressed. I need something laid back, at least for now. The last thing I want to do is hurt someone but is it worth hurting myself?

UGH RSD. And if I am told it is in my freaking head and I can control it, and shit, I will flip the hell out. If you don't have RSD you don't understand, bottom line. I don't care who has what, you don't understand unless you have it, and even then everyone is different. It pisses me off that people run right over me and think they know better, it really does. I'm the only one who knows and I'll try to make my disease and life more managable for you but sorry if it's not perfect for you sweety.

I love people for trying to deal with me but maybe I'm not worth dealing with. I just want to be happy but I seem to make everything I touch a big ordeal.

UGHHHHHHHHHHH.

♥