Strange Ways vs Simplicity

Well I think life works in strange ways. Strange unexplainable and frustrating things happen. Some may use religion as a way to explain but I'm not going to discuss that. A. says two things never to be discussed are religion and politics. And I think she's deff. right. Anywho... life doesn't make since at all most of the time.

I am a sick person. Like I mean I'm healthy...for the most part but I live the life of a diseased person. It just doesn't seem fair. It came out of the blue. It's made me realize so much and I think maybe that's why it happened, but it stills makes me cry. That's why I'm blogging...just kinda upset-ish. There is school tomorrow, that's probably why. Going to school makes me face the fact that I'm not "normal" and not who I hoped I'd be. Things aren't the way I planned. I mean that'd be fine. Most things don't end up how we plan. But I mean this is a huge fork in the road...haha well spoon in the road in my case. I just find it so hard to deal. I know lots of people who aren't effected by disease can't understand and that makes it harder. They think that by now I should be over it. I think I should be too. I fight and I try to be normal...but it's all a little much. i just can't help but think what if. What if it never happened. And It makes me cry. That's awful...because there is no turning back time. I can only move forward. Someday I hope to find remission and maybe...because strange things happen...a cure. People are fighting for it...so maybe that makes it not so strange. I know I want it. I mean RSD has made me a better person but it's also very hard for a young girl trying to survive high school.

High school. You shouldn't need to be in a relationship. I fully believe that. Then why do I want one so much?! It's so stupid. It really is. I just wish I could have someone there to make things better. To hug me. To hold me when I'm crying and just make the world seem less scary. But I'm only in high school...so. haha. Ya right. I just wish. I wish that once you find a person you think is perfect they give you a fair shot no matter what. Life doesn't work that way because it's strange. Things can't be simple. I used to say it'd be boring any other way. But these days I kinda wish for hints of simplicity

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